


Sweater Holes

by igototseven



Category: GOT7, JJ Project, K-pop
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Idol Verse, Im Jaebum | JB-Centric, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Smut, a little bit of choi youngjae, mentions of alcohol and drinking, mentions of the rest of got7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 06:58:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18244724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igototseven/pseuds/igototseven
Summary: In the midst of Jus2 promotions and "He Is Psychometric" filming, Jaebeom finds he misses Jinyoung more than ever.





	Sweater Holes

**Author's Note:**

> I missed JJP and I wanted to explore their time apart from each other. I started writing this like the first week of Jus2 promotions when Jaebeom wore one of Jinyoung's old sweaters and after trying to figure out how to write a coherent story, this is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

There’s a low hum somewhere in the room and with his eyes still closed, Jaebeom reaches out with a hand to feel cool air and still-warm sheets. He tries to say something but it ends up sounding like a whine, causing the humming noise to turn into a low chuckle. As he pries his eyelids open, Jinyoung is there with a soft curl playing on the corner of his lips. 

The rest of the room is still dark, the only light coming in from the hallway through a small opening in the door. It has to be early, before the sun is even up, he realizes, feeling his heart sink in his chest. 

“Beom-ah,” Jinyoung whispers, carding a gentle hand through Jaebeom’s hair, “I have to go.” 

Of course, Jaebeom knows what he means. Their 48 hours together had to come to an end, and they would both be riddled with non-stop schedules for the next while, as Jinyoung continues filming for his drama and Jaebeom begins Jus2 promotions with Yugyeom the the day after tomorrow. He doesn’t even know when the next time he sees Jinyoung in person will be, but as they lay in bed last night dreading Jinyoung’s call time, they promised to call and to text when they could. 

“Already?” he asks, watching Jinyoung nod. “Do well, Jinyoung-ah.” He doesn’t say it, but he knows Jinyoung knows he loves him, and that he’ll miss him. 

Jinyoung nods again and presses a kiss to Jaebeom’s forehead. “Go back to sleep, hyung.” 

His eyes close as Jinyoung’s humming starts up again and when he wakes up, the room is quiet and bright with the daylight seeping in from the windows. 

 

It’s easy to not think about it when he and Yugyeom are in full practice mode for their showcase. It feels a little bit strange to be in the practice room without Jinyoung, always looking over and expecting the other to be there to laugh with him when Yugyeom does something silly, but he enjoys himself while rehearsing, and at the end of the night he catches up on the messages Jinyoung sent him in between scenes. 

When he arrives home he sends a quick picture of his cats to Jinyoung before dialing, only to hear the voicemail tone. He doesn’t leave a message but still purses his lips in disappointment. He looks over at where Odd stares up at him and shrugs, “He’s busy.” 

It still leaves Jaebeom antsy, and instead of settling down and resting for the night, he vacuums up some cat hair from the sofa and washes the bowls in the sink. He moves to his bedroom next, folding the small pile of clothes accumulated by the dresser. He sees that some of the clothes aren’t his and smiles, sorting Jinyoung’s extra sweaters and shirts in a different stack. 

He even finds other items of Jinyoung’s, left from the various times he had stayed the night, including a book of short stories, a lip balm, and the lensless black glasses he wears sometimes. He sets the glasses on his bedside table and stares at them for a moment, feeling something pull at his chest. 

It had been months since they had all officially moved out of their dorm, and while Jaebeom loves having his own space to exercise his habits in peace and finally has room for his cats to roam free without worrying about allergies, it gets lonely without other people. And he discovered after the third time that Jinyoung slept over in the span of a week that he misses it too sometimes. 

Of course, Jaebeom isn’t going to ask Jinyoung to move in with him, especially since Jinyoung’s current schedule meant coming and going at weird hours and the fact Jinyoung has always liked having his own room, but he feels warm nonetheless whenever he sees Jinyoung reading on his bed with Nora in his lap. It feels familiar and carefree and _normal_. 

Jaebeom’s phone chimes to pull him out of his thoughts, notifying him of a new message. He drops to sit on his bed, grinning as he reads Jinyoung’s newest text: _Tell your babies I miss them._

Jaebeom chuckles before typing out a reply, attaching a selfie from his camera roll with it: _And what about this baby?_

 

He can’t help the sense of pride he feels when he scrolls through the photos of Jinyoung’s press conference. Jinyoung looks good, he muses, Jinyoung always looks so good. He thinks it’s a little bit funny, as he saves a few pictures, that he’s now monitoring Jinyoung like a fan -- although he’d argue that he’s one of Jinyoung’s biggest fans -- when it’s usually Jinyoung who keeps up with what fans are saying and sharing online. 

In fact, Jaebeom can already imagine Jinyoung out of the suit and in his own apartment reclined on the sofa as his and Yugyeom’s showcase goes live. A part of him is still a little disappointed that the other boys wouldn’t be able to make it tonight, with everyone’s separate schedules either leaving them out of the country or cutting it far too close to get to the venue on time. But Jaebeom and Yugyeom soldier on, knowing that they’ll be watching on the app and that they’ve prepared VCRs ahead of time. 

So he rightfully gets excited when he sees Mark walk out on stage. He’ll have to ask him about it later because Mark has to be tired after traveling so much but he’s there with them and he calls each of the others (sans Jackson because he’s probably working at some capacity). 

And it’s fulfilling, to hear Jinyoung’s voice even though Jaebeom just heard it over the VCR in better quality. There’s just something about the fact that he can respond in real time to Jinyoung’s laugh and Jinyoung’s jokes that makes him lose his filter for a second to say he’ll be in JJ Project forever -- because he’ll be Jinyoung’s forever if he can help it -- and to tell him he’ll send over one of his favorite pictures from the press conference later. 

He’s so smitten that he doesn’t mind the teasing he gets from Yugyeom later when the younger catches him sending the aforementioned photo to Jinyoung. “Aish --- a good leader supports his members and doesn’t shame them,” he says to Yugyeom with no real bite to it, and he only swats the other lightly when Yugyeom says that Jaebeom is hardly ashamed of how whipped he is. 

 

It’s a good thing he’s already back home when he sees the short clip of Jinyoung -- his Jinyoung -- on set shirtless in front of a camera crew. Jaebeom’s jaw drops as he brings the phone closer to his face. Of course, this isn’t anything new to Jaebeom, he’s had his mouth on every inch of what is exposed on the screen, but knowing that now the whole world can see it throws him into a loop. 

He doesn’t even want to know what the others have said, feeling strangely possessive as he skips over the notifications in the group chat to message Jinyoung directly. His thumbs slip over the wrong keys as he types, mouth still hanging open when he sends the simple text: _Jinyoungie, how?_

It doesn’t take long for Jinyoung to reply, Jaebeom picturing Jinyoung biting his lip. _Did hyung see the clip? Haha. Wait until you see the scene._ He can even hear the phantom of Jinyoung’s chuckle in his ear. 

“Jinyoungie,” he audibly whines, plopping onto the bed. He thinks back of the clip again, sucking in a breath through his teeth, wondering if he called would the other even pick up. Jaebeom looks down to where he’s half hard before typing out a reply. _I miss you. I want to hear your voice._

The message goes unread for a few minutes and Jaebeom thinks he’s been pulled into something. He sighs, tossing his phone off to the side and reclines back, shoving his hand into his pants with the image of Jinyoung’s wet, bare torso burned into his eyelids. 

 

He wakes up a little later than he intends to, having shut off his alarm and turning over _just for a second._ If it weren’t for Cake pawing at his face, he’d be at the wrath of the managers, but nonetheless, Jaebeom ends up rushing through his morning routine, pulling on the first sweater he finds. 

It’s only later on the way to the music show recording that he realize it’s Jinyoung’s. He pulls the collar to his nose and takes a deep inhale, sighing out his mouth at the faint scent of Jinyoung’s cologne. Jaebeom then realizes that he’s _wearing_ Jinyoung’s sweater and that he’s going to be photographed in it a lot today. His lips twist into a grin, feeling something giddy in his chest when he thinks of what Jinyoungie might think.

They’d shared things before -- jewelry, sweatshirts, and the like -- mostly in private, but when it did happen in public, there’s some sort of defiant possessiveness that they both feel about letting others see the level of intimacy they have with one another. It’s risky sometimes, as fan theories hit close to home, but they just play their parts as just two really good friends, knowing at the end of the day what is fact and what is fiction. 

He’s smug when he gets a text later that night about it. _I didn’t say you could wear my sweater while I was gone._

 _It’s yours? I just found it in my house so I assumed it was mine._ He chuckles to himself, proudly. 

_Hyung shouldn’t assume that everything in his house is his._

_But they are? The cats are mine. The food is mine. And when Jinyoungie is here, Jinyoungie is mine._

Jaebeom has to admit, his heart skips a beat at Jinyoung’s next reply: _I’m always yours. Even when I’m not there._

He takes his chance at Jinyoung’s rather quick replies to press the video chat icon, not bothering to hold back his smile when Jinyoung actually answers. 

“Hi, hyung.” 

 

Jaebeom can’t pinpoint when in their history he fell in love with Jinyoung. It was just that one day, he realized the way he cared for Jinyoung was different than the way he cared for BamBam or Mark or even Youngjae. Once he was able to admit it to himself, it was like all the pieces fit together, like everything made sense in the world. And with only the way Jinyoung met his eyes across the room, did Jaebeom know the feeling was mutual. 

He never liked the idea of calling Jinyoung his boyfriend. The label felt too arbitrary for them. Too mundane for something that Jaebeom believed to be more than just “dating”. They had lived together, created a family of seven together, been through the ringer together, and had shared things only the other would ever know with each other. Their lives became so intertwined with one another that Jaebeom truly can’t describe Jinyoung as anything other than his soulmate. 

Jinyoung is simply Jinyoung to him, and that carries such a meaning far deeper than anything Jaebeom can ever describe. 

 

He doesn’t notice it much himself until Yugyeom tells him after they’ve left an interview that he’s been spending a lot of their promotional time to talk about Jinyoung. Which is okay, because the interviewers bring him and the show up in the first place --- but Yugyeom points out that Jaebeom dominates that part of the conversation like a schoolgirl discussing her crush. 

And, yeah, now that he thinks about it, he has been mentioning Jinyoung a lot in interviews, but he’s proud of Jinyoung’s hard work. All of those times Jaebeom listened to him talk about the role and the storyline, all the nights he watched Jinyoung read and rehearse his lines, and all the blood, sweat, and tears he had seen Jinyoung pour into this role is finally paying off. Jinyoung deserves every bit of praise and admiration that comes out of his mouth, and if he can’t say it to Jinyoung’s face, then he’ll just have to say it to anyone who listens. 

 

It’s one of those nights where he feels lonelier than usual. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have the busyness of promoting the album anymore, just having some fansigns and filming for the variety show left before going on tour. He’s left to his own devices, sometimes working in his studio, other times curled up at home with a book, but all the time with his phone close by with messages he’s sent that are still left unread. 

Jaebeom understands. Jinyoung’s been shooting a lot lately, being taken hours away on location or late into the night where he’d have to sleep during the day after to rest up. His hours are so mixed up compared to Jaebeom’s that it takes longer than usual to reply. And as much as Jaebeom misses Jinyoung, what was there really to complain about? 

He’s not being neglected, and it’s not like Jinyoung found someone else. It’s just that it’s _difficult_ to be away from Jinyoung. It’s been nearly ten years since they’d first met, and other than the brief stint when he had injured his back, Jaebeom hasn’t been physically apart from Jinyoung this long since. 

He misses his deep, smoky voice even when he’s teasing Jaebeom. He misses the way he’ll tap his finger on his bottom lip when he gets to a really good passage in a book. He misses the warm weight of Jinyoung’s hand on his thigh when they’re just sitting next to each other. He misses the long line of Jinyoung’s body fitted against his as he looks over Jaebeom’s shoulder to watch him cook. He misses the way he’d pout to get the last piece of fried chicken. And he misses the way he’d let Jaebeom feel so safe and small in his arms after a stressful day. 

In all, Jaebeom just misses Jinyoung. 

 

“I think he’s the love of my life,” he suddenly says. 

Youngjae isn’t even phased, continuing to put the piece of grilled pork into his mouth. “I’d be really disappointed if you’re not talking about Jinyoung-hyung,” he says between chews. He reaches over to refill Jaebeom’s soju glass, not acknowledging the way Jaebeom’s eyebrows have shot up. 

“Who else would I be talking about?” He looks outright offended, as if Youngjae wasn’t just pulling his leg for the hell of it. “Jinyoungie is perfect. He’s so smart and funny, and he knows me better than anyone in the world -- even more than my mom -- and when I look at him I feel like my heart’s going to come out of my chest and ---” 

“ _Hyung_ ,” Youngjae interrupts, his mouth stretched into an amused grin, “don’t worry, I know you only have eyes for Jinyoung-hyung.” 

“Oh,” Jaebeom stares dumbly at the other, “good.” Youngjae laughs and prompts Jaebeom to take another drink with him, obviously having fun with how far gone his hyung already is. 

“I’m glad you think he’s the love of your life,” Youngjae tells him after a shot, “I like how you’ve been since you two got together.” 

Even if he was sober, he knows he’d have a hard time understanding what Youngjae meant by that, “How so?” 

Youngjae shrugs, “You’re happier and more carefree. Like you’re not afraid of showing people who you really are anymore.” He tilts his head and thinks for another moment, “You used to be so...serious about everything and restrained, but now it’s like a dam broke and you’re letting yourself enjoy everything. It’s like you’ve been de-aged five years.” 

Jaebeom doesn’t know why but he wants to cry at that. Youngjae has always been so insightful and so thoughtful and one of the easiest people for Jaebeom to talk to. He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, letting Youngjae’s words sink in.

The last year and a half had felt like a different lifetime altogether, not only in his career, but also in his personal life. He had come to define himself as an artist around the same time he had realized his feelings for Jinyoung. And maybe it was the culmination of those two things that had changed the way Jaebeom sees the world; that he had started trusting himself instead of relying on what other people expected from him. 

Jinyoung never cared for those things -- he only ever cared about Jaebeom. From the start, when they were both so young and all gangly limbs, Jinyoung saw Jaebeom as his equal, as his friend, as another kid with a crazy opportunity. Jinyoung had always loved Jaebeom for who he is, regardless of the idol image front he later adopted. He had always been able to melt that exterior with a simple look, Jaebeom falling comfortably into him before he even realized it was happening. 

Jinyoung had seen who Jaebeom truly was before he knew himself. And after finally confessing to Jinyoung on the roof of their old dorm’s apartment building, Jaebeom felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders. Like he could finally breathe and just stop lying to himself. Jinyoung never expects anything from Jaebeom, he just simply lets him be. 

Youngjae rubs one of Jaebeom’s shoulders and hands him a napkin to wipe his cheeks, “Aigoo, hyung, please don’t cry. We’re in public.” 

 

Jaebeom fusses around in the kitchen, trying to refrain from checking the time. He sticks a spoon into the stew he’s making to taste it before adding another pinch of salt and lowering the heat. It’s not often that he has time to cook a full on meal, but it’s a special occasion and Jaebeom is feeling a little nostalgic for his mother’s tofu stew. 

He has music playing from the stereo in the living room but he still hears the faint beeping sound of the front door and a soft orchestra of curious meows. It’s another moment before he hears the shuffling of house slippers on linoleum and his heart pounds harder in his chest when he finally hears his voice. 

“Are you not even going to say hello to me?” 

He turns his head to let himself finally look at Jinyoung, dressed in a simple crew neck and khakis, his plush lips stretched into a toothy grin. Without a beat Jaebeom retorts, a matching smile on his face, “I’m cooking for you, I think the least you can do is say hi first.” 

Jinyoung laughs and all Jaebeom can do is watch with fond eyes, standing still as Jinyoung steps closer and closes the gap between them. 

The first brush of lips after a long time sends a warm feeling throughout his body. Feeling Jinyoung there in the present makes it feel like he’s finally home; like his missing piece has been found. After another peck, Jinyoung pulls away, still smiling and eyes crinkled at the sides, taking in Jaebeom’s face. “Hi, Jaebeom-ah. Long time no see.”

 

Jinyoung’s only free for the next day and Jaebeom is about to leave for Macau so their time together is shorter than the last time. They make every second of it last, recounting the long days apart and getting reacquainted with one another in every possible way. 

Later when they’re both sated and tangled up together in bed naked, Jaebeom traces a finger from the crook of Jinyoung’s elbow to his palm, lacing their fingers together. He brings their clasped hands up and presses a kiss to them before settling them on his chest. 

“You’re so...tender tonight, hyung,” Jinyoung muses, brushing his thumb back and forth over the skin of Jaebeom’s hand. 

“I just missed you, Jinyoungie.” 

“I missed you too.” Jinyoung shifts until he’s rolled onto his stomach, so he could look at Jaebeom while he speaks. “I missed you so much.” 

“I love you. I don’t say it enough, but I love you --- I’m so in love with you.” The words fall out of his mouth, but they’re easy to say. “You’re literally the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I don’t know who I’d be if we’d never met.” 

Jinyoung reaches to brush away a stray tear from Jaebeom’s eye, the other unaware of when he had started crying. “Me too,” he licks his lips. “Hyung, sometimes I love you so much it hurts.” 

Jaebeom sits up just enough to kiss Jinyoung, hand coming up to cup his jaw and pull him closer. He gets Jinyoung on top of him and another few minutes later they’re both lazily cresting over their second orgasm of the night in tandem. 

Jaebeom sighs contentedly, taking Jinyoung’s body in his arms again, starting to feel the pull of slumber take him in. He murmurs against the skin of Jinyoung’s shoulder, just loud enough for him to hear it. “I don’t ever want to be without you, Jinyoung.” 

With his eyes closed, he still feels Jinyoung there, letting him wrap around him like he’s going to disappear. Just as he drifts off to sleep, he hears Jinyoung. “I’ll be with you forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to leave a comment and a kudos! And come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/igototseven) if you want.


End file.
